


It was always Anne

by annebethchases



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 06:47:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21423940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annebethchases/pseuds/annebethchases
Summary: Gilbert is determined to propose to Winifred and heads to Charlottetown with Bash. In the meantime, Diana tries to talk some sense into Anne.S P O I L E R S for 3x08!
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 192





	It was always Anne

**Author's Note:**

> First AWAE fic ever! Spoilers for 3x08 so don't read if you haven't watched yet!

Bash eyed Gilbert suspiciously across the table, not saying anything.

He looked sick as he played with the food in his plate, not really eating any of it. The bags unde his eyes were deeper than usual and he looked white as a sheet. He clearly hand't slept at all.

"Doesn't Mr. Blythe like his breakfast this morning?" his mother asked worriedly, turning her attention from Delphine. "I can make something else if he'd like."

Gilbert seemed to snap out of his thoughts.

Blinking up in confusion, he furrowed his brows at the woman.

"Oh, it all looks delicious. I just... uhm..." he mumbled. "I'm not exactly-"

"Mother, would you please be so kind to leave us a moment alone?" Bash interrupted him.

His mother widened her eyes at him, but she simply nodded, pursing her lips. She took Delphine and left the room without another word.

When Bash turned to Gilbert, he was back in his bubble, his eyes empty as he stared at the table.

Bash reached out and placed his hand upon his, making him look up at him.

He wasn't too younger than him, but right there and then, Bash could see nothing but a scared kid sitting in front of him.

"Nobody is forcing you to propose." he said as softly as he could.

Gilbert bit his lip.

"I know." he replied, voice hoarse.

"Are you sure this is the right thing?"

Gilbert looked down and Bash followed his gaze. When he noticed what he was looking at, his heart sank a little.

The recipe book Anne had made for Delphine.

Bash didn't know what exactly had happened between the two of them, but he could see that Gilbert was devasted, He didn't believe Winifred and the Sorbonne could mend his broken heart, but he'd decided he would support his friend's decision regardless.

"Yes. I'm sure." Gilbert said, steadier this time, standing up and walking towards the sink, his back facing Bash.

"Do you want me to come with you to Charlottetwon?" he asked.

After a brief moment of silence, Gilbert turned and gave him a shaky smile.

"That would be a great help."

* * *

"You cannot just give up now!"

"I'm not giving up!" Anne almost screamed, turning her back to Diana and storming to the window.

"Yes, you are." her friend said subbornly. "And Anne Shirley-Cuthbert doesn't give up. Ever."

"I'm not giving up." Anne repeated, turning to look at her. "I'm letting him go. I'm giving him the chance to have the life he desires. To study in the university he wants and have his dream job. I can't offer him any of these things, Diana. She can. "

Diana looked at her without saying anything, her expression something between anger and pity.

"You have so much to offer and you don't even realize it." she said softly.

"I have words to offer." Anne replied bitterly. "Big ideas and big dreams. But no money or stabily to lead the life he's supposed to lead. I would simply be holding him back."

"Sometimes you can be so dense, Anne. So much for being the first of the class."

"I'm sorry?"

Diana sighed and took her hands, leading her to the bed and making her sit.

"Listen, I think you got his words all wrong." she said. "I don't think he laid out what a perfect life he could have in Paris just to say that you're keeping him from his dream, Anne."

"And how would you interpret his words?"

"He was saying he would give it all up for you if he knew you loved him back. You are as important as his dream job, if not more. Why can't you see it?"

For a moment, Anne forgot to how to breath.

Maybe Diana was right. His words could indeed be interpreted that way. He could have been saying he was willing to throw everything away for her.

Still, how could she keep him away from his dream now that he had a chance to finally make it come true?

"I can't be that selfish." she said, her voice unsteady, standing up. "He deserves this. I can't take it away from him only because I-I don't want to lose him."

She heard Diana sigh heavily behind her.

"You're not being selfish. You're just denying both you and him the happiness you could have."

* * *

Gilbert felt sick to his stomach.

He was no expert in marriage proposals, but he doubted that was how he should feel on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life.

He silently watched out of the window as the countryside run before him. He could feel Bash's worried gaze on him, but he didn't look up.

Was it really the right thing? Was he really making the best decision for his future?

_You don't want to be a country doctor. The Sorbonne is your dream. Winifred is lovely and her parents are supportive._

She'd laid it all out so perfectly it almost hurt.

He couldn't get the picture of her dancing in the night out of his head, the flames reflecting the color of her wild loose hair blowing in the wind.

She'd been so beautiful. So beautiful and so impossible.

"-engangment party?"

Gilbert blinked, snapping out of his bubble and turning to Bash.

"What?"

"I said, do you have some ideas for the engangment party?"

He swallowed, feeling a knot in his stomach.

"I haven't thought of anything yet." he said, trying to cut the topic shortly.

Just as Bash was about to speak again, there was a loud whistle and the train, started slowing down.

Gilbert bit his lip at the sight of the 'Charlottetown' sign.

"Alright." he said, shakily standing up. "Let's go."

* * *

"No kidding, you will have money to raise a dozen children."

Gilbert glared at Bash who was watching the Roses house with wide eyes.

"Sorry."

Gilbert just gave him a weak smile, turning to him and sighing.

"So, this is it." Bash said, nodding.

"Seems like it." Gilbert said, laughing under his breath.

It all felt so surreal. It was almost as if he wasn't in complete control of his body.

"I'll be waiting for you. Come look for me in the Bog when you're finished, I was thinking about paying a visit to Mary's friends."

_Mary_. He would have given anything to have her as well by his side in that moment.

"You did bring the ring, didn't you?"

Gilbert scoffed, rolling his eyes at him. He digged into the pocket of his coat, looking for little box he'd put his mother's ring in.

But instead of the velvet box, his fingers touched something pointy and cold.

Frowning, he took it out and his breath instantly caught in his throat.

It was Anne's pen. The one he'd borrowed from her at Miss Stacy's place before the exams.

For a moment, everything that surrounded him disappeared as he looked at the tiny object in his hands.

Such a simple and small thing. He could almost still feel the warmth of her fingertips against his hand as she'd given it to him.

He could almost see her as she'd been that day, red hair glowing in the sun, nose buried deep in her book, brows furrowed together in concentration.

_Be sure you marry for love._

Mary's words resonated in his mind almost like a quiet prayer. 

Wrong. This was all wrong. 

He didn't love Winifred. Not the way he loved Anne. It wasn't fair to marry her. This wasn't the path he was supposed to be taking. 

_It was always Anne_. Yes, it had always been Anne indeed. 

"You were right, Bash." he finally said looking up. 

"What?" Bash asked, glancing at the the pen in confusion. 

"You were right about everything." 

* * *

_Empty_. 

That was how Anne felt as she stared at the steaming cup of tea in front of her. She couldn't even bring it to her lips, her stomach tied in a tight knot.

That night, she couldn't even bring herself to be delighted by the colorful shadows the setting sun casted on the walls of her room.

Suddenly, it looked grey around her, nothing really bringing her joy.

She'd been a child just a couple months before, and now she was sitting alone on her bed, her head heavy after crying for her lost love.

Despite the hurt, she knew she'd done the right thing. Gilbert deserved to be happy and follow his dreams in Paris, and if that meant being with another girl, then so be it.

Diana had pleaded her to run after him, to stop him before he could get on that train to Charlottetown, but she could never do such a thing to her. Now all she needed was to learn how to bury her feelings and be the supportive friend Gilbert deserved.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock on the door.

She grunted and rolled her eyes as she stood up, starting for the door.

"Matthew, Marilla, how many times do I have to tell you?" she said. "I'm alright you don't need to-"

She stopped as soon as she opened the door because it wasn't Matthew or Marilla's worried faces that greeted her this time.

It was Gilbert's.

"Hi." he simply said, giving her a weak smile.

Anne couldn't bring herself to greet him back, her voice stuck in her throat.

She simply stared at him, her chest heavy. His curls were all messy, his cheeks red, lips slightly parted as he caught his breath. Had he always been this beautiful?

Anne cursed herself in her mind for never noticing what a great person she'd had by her side for years and years. If only she'd been less foolish and childish, things would be completely different now.

When she noticed the intensity with which he was looking at her, she felt the urge to lower her eyes to the ground.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice more unsteady than she had hoped it would sound.

"Oh... uhm- I came to bring this back." he said, clearing his throat.

She bit her lip as she watched him pull out the pen she'd let him borrow that day at Miss Stacy's place. She took it hesitantly, careful not to even brush her fingers against his.

"I-I hope it was of some help." she stuttered, still not meeting his eyes. "During the uhm- exams."

"It definitely was." he said promptly.

Anne finally looked up at him, and she almost melted under his fond gaze. How could he look at her that way?

She felt tears sting the corner of her eyes as a picture of him and Winifred together crossed her mind. He was engaged now for sure.

Sighing heavily, she took a step back from him, clutching the pen tightly.

"Thanks for bringing this back." she said, hoping he would get it was his cue to leave.

Gilbert looked at her with a weird expressiom before he nodded and put his cap back on.

"I'll see you around, then." he said timidly.

_No, I'll make sure to steer clear for a while_. She didn't say though.

She watched as he made his way down the alley, feeling as if he was taking a part of her heart away with him. Soon he'd married, and there was nothing she could do about it.

He'd almost reached the stairs when he suddenly turned to her again. 

"I didn't propose." he blurted out, his face suddenly red. 

Anne felt all the air leave her lungs. She stumbled backwards and grabbed the door knob to steady herself.

Had she heard right?

"W-what?"

Gilbert walked forward slowly until he was standing right in front of her again.

"I didn't propose to Winifred." he repeated, swallowing.

Anne bit her lip, trying to calm down her heartbeat, her head spinning.

"But why?"

He didn't answer her. He simply stared at her silently, his gaze flicking between her eyes and her lips.

"Why?" she asked again louder this time. "She's an amazing girl, her parents could get you into the Sorbonne by fall. It was your dream, you had it all within reach, why would you ever even-"

"Because I don't love her." he interrupted her.

Anne blinked up at him, unable to say anything.

"I don't love her." Gilbert repeated, lowering his gaze. "Not the way I love- not the way I'm supposed to love the woman I decide to marry. It just wasn't... right. She wasn't the right person."

_When the right person comes along, someday, whenever that is, I'll know._

A long silence stretched between them before Anne finally found the strenght to speak again.

"So... no Sorbonne."

Gilbert shrugged.

"Queen's will be more than fine for the time being. We'll have to keep up the good old rivalry for a bit."

Anne couldn't help but smile.

Gilber smiled back at her, almost shyly, and she found herself blushing.

"I'll be off." he said after a while. "It's been a long day."

Anne nodded, and he turned, walking down the alley again.

"Gilbert!" she called after him before he could disappear down the stairs.

"Yes?"

She fidgeted with the pen, twirling it nervously between her fingers.

"I'm happy you're coming to college with m- with all of us."

Gilbert smiled.

"I'm happy too."

"Goodnight, Gilbert."

"Goodnight, Anne."

And for the first time in weeks, it truly was a good night.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and let me know what you think of it in the comments! <3


End file.
